Random Thoughts

Hello there,

I find this to be a very interesting topic that everyone has a different opinion about and as I wrote this I realized what I was writing was different from my usual posts, but what the hell?!

I am sure one of the more difficult issues faced by a parent contemplating divorce is the effect of the divorce on the kids. I see many folks who are uncertain as to whether or not to stay in a pretty untenable situation simply because they want their children to be older and they think more able to accept before they divorce.

Through years of watching families, reading and observing children of friends, I am not so sure that this is so. I actually think the younger the kids are when the divorce happens (assuming the parents are civil and flexible about parenting) the easier it is for the kids to adapt. A 2 year old has very little difficulty where a 13 year old is at a developmental point where this can be much harder. I also think that a child in college may be more vulnerable than one who is around and in high school. And oddly enough I think that adult children have a very tough time, perhaps because they need to then rethink their childhood and possibly because parents tend to be more open with an adult child.

I would very much like to hear your comments and feedback on this post because as I said it is totally anecdotal and may be off base.

Best,
Nancy

2 Comments


  1. A therapist I have also found that the older the children/ young adults the harder the divorce is on them. In my circumstances two of my children are in college and one is 13. The divorce has hit them very hard and they continue to struggle because their father will not treat me with respect or friendship.


  2. Hi there,
    Thank you for your comment. I am sorry for your situation, and for your kids knowledge of what is happening. I think that folks really tend to underestimate how aware of the real situation kids of all ages truly are.
    Good luck,
    Nancy

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