Pornography and Divorce

Hi there,

Photograph: Tom Merton/Photodisc/Getty ImagesThe last couple of times that I have been asked to be interviewed on television and on the Internet, the interviewer has been interested in stories of cheating spouses.  The recent interview on the Internet was about how Facebook relationships have affected divorce.  That made me go a step further and think about how the Internet has really changed the availability of pornography and how that very commonality has changed how the viewing of online pornography is considered in the divorce process.

When I first started practicing (when dinosaurs roamed the earth), catching a spouse viewing or reading pornography was almost as severe a shock as discovering a spouse cheating.  It was brought up often as a reason for the divorce, in hushed tones and with a request to not let anyone know, because there was a LOT of shame associated with even mentioning it.

But, boy, has that changed as porn has become so much more easily available.  In fact, we all spend a lot of money screening our computers to keep it from showing up unwanted, like say mice?

As a result, it has become much less of a hot button issue in divorce; some folks are still disturbed or disgusted by it, but for most it seems to only become an issue if there is an addiction and/or a lot of money has been spent purchasing it.

I am not talking about child pornography that is a crime and a heinous one, and still shocks and destroys, but most everything else appears to be pretty much viewed as normal.

I would love to hear what you think of this.  Am I wrong?