If you are thinking about divorce or have already commenced the divorce process, you should be considering what kinds of resources you will need to help you through this most difficult of times.
Second, and regardless of how relieved you may feel about the divorce, you need a neutral person (or two!) to vent to and to help you deal with the normal feelings that will arise. Folks in the middle of a divorce go through the same emotional process as people dealing with the death of a spouse, with the nasty addendum that there is no rite of passage. No one will bring you jello-molds and casseroles. Your mutual friends may back away and not rally round. The neutral person could be either a therapist or a member of the clergy. I am amazed at how many clients still indicate that they are afraid to contact a therapist, theorizing that that seeking help in a difficult time equals proof of mental instability to the courts. It doesn’t. Most professionals involved in the divorce process view a litigant’s use of therapy as a positive NOT a negative. Most attorneys will be able to give you a reference, and if not try your primary care doctor.
Third, if you are the non-wage earner spouse (usually the wife) you should link up with a financial professional. In conjunction with your attorney a good financial person can help you understand what you will have to live on and how to manage your money going forward. The financial person will usually be brought into the process by your attorney. if this doesn’t happen I would ask the attorney to help you get one. Often this is not needed until the discovery portion of the divorce is pretty well completed.
Divorce is difficult, but it can be conquered and with the right attitude and the right team in place, it can be if not good at least a useful experience.