I once had a very socially adept client who sent out a “transitions” card to all her contacts. She announced her separation, new address, phone numbers, etc. She was cheerful, matter of fact and kind to her ex. I thought at the time it was a great idea. Today I am announcing a transition here. Scott Katz, who has been the behind the scenes mainstay of this blog from its beginning, has left Burns & Levinson to go on to a new position. It is a promotion, a step up and all those good things for Scott, but we will miss him here (not just because some of his better blog ideas came at 1AM when only he and I were still on the Internet). I am currently being helped by two very accomplished ladies, Elizabeth Waterfall-McSweeney and Cheryl Gillis. I could never do it with out you guys.
I’m not sure of what the percentage of divorce is now, but some studies indicate that it is on the decline. However, it is high, and anyone divorcing is in the midst of a bad and difficult transition. Eventually the dust settles and the new life becomes comfortable and routine. One of the things that helps make this happen is to maintain your contacts and friends. It is sad but true that some friends will fall away, but not all of them. If you share young children, you and your ex should try to make an effort to maintain neutral ties with the kids’ friends’ parents.
As an observer, both as a divorce lawyer and in my own life, the folks who do not bad-mouth their ex keep the most friends. Even the best friends burn out after a while.