Holidays with a Narcissist

Hi there,

‘Tis the season for holiday parties, and it’s my belief that narcissists are overly prevalent at parties. Social gatherings provide a great opportunity for a narcissist to show off and shine. However, behind the scenes, narcissists aren’t so pretty. I’ve blogged about it before and not much has changed, although there does seem to be more public awareness of how difficult a divorce and dealing with one can be.

In the 35 years I’ve been a divorce lawyer, there seems to be a greater recognition in the world at large as to how problematic any negative dealings with a narcissist can be. Since divorce is usually just about as negative as it gets, there has now been a lot written and blogged about divorce and narcissists. I follow a writer on the Huff Post Divorce, who is divorced and blogging about the process. She believes her ex to be a narcissist and much of what she writes will resonate if you too are trying to shed your own.

There have been innumerable books written about breaking up with a narcissist and how to handle the emotional fall out. A good one is “The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us,” by Ross Rosenberg.

My best advice is: if you are going to divorce a narcissist, do so with your eyes wide open. It will be a long, drawn out, expensive process, so get your ducks quietly in a row first. Get a good therapist and a good attorney – don’t be afraid to interview a few to find the right fit. If you can, set aside some money. Also, and this is just anecdotal belief on my part, it may be easier if you do it after the holidays, when the kids are back in school. There is less room for drama then.