Parenting, Children & Divorce

Hi there,

One of the terrific things about being a blogger is I have an ironclad excuse for reading junky celebrity news. I will freely admit to happily reading all about the Gosselin’s divorce for some months now and even commenting on it.

They, actually mostly Jon, have been providing object lessons in what not to do during a divorce:

First, do NOT indulge in very public displays of affection with your new flame. Your ex will be sure to hear about it and it will not make your life easier. Also, don’t do it where your kids might see or hear about it . In Jon’s case this was in all the junk mags in the grocery checkouts.

Second, do NOT violate court orders by withdrawing money from accounts that you are supposed to leave alone.

Third, do NOT bite off your nose to spite your face. Don’t quit your job (or stop production of your TV series if you have one) just to hurt your ex. It will hurt you and your kids far, far more.

In short, try to behave like a civilized, adult human being.  Most divorced and divorcing folks manage to do so. … Keep reading

Hi there,

As Massachusetts considers refining the law on alimony, the public commentary is huge.  It has made me think through exactly what I think about the current law and the proposed changes.  I have initially addressed this in the blog, as I recognize that making alimony payments (or not making them) is one of the truly hard and hot button issues in divorce.  There are both payers and payees who have been deeply hurt and aggrieved by the system.  Most of these individuals may well find this post unpalatable.  As I think about that, I am not sure anyone finds having to pay alimony a good thing.  It is however, often a necessary evil, and as an advocate if I represent the spouse who is paying, I try to get the amount and time frame as minimal as possible.   Alternatively, when I am the advocate for the recipient, I try to get the amount and time frame as broad as possible.  That is the joy of being a litigator – you get to argue both sides of every question, sometimes on the same day.

Joking aside, I firmly believe that setting parameters for judges to follow and then … Keep reading